A pop culturally astute coworker said something horrifying to me today – she can’t tell the difference between Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Vanessa Hudgens. SAY WHAT!? I was and remain speechless. Sure, these women look similar and are all vaguely ethnic, but they are clearly completely different! Thus, I have compiled this pocket guide to distinguish ex Disney starlets.
Who the f is this? Selena Gomez.
What was she on? Wizards of Waverly Place
Who did she bang? Justin Bieber
What song would I know? When You’re Ready Come and Get It
What’s her scandal? Nothing too exciting. She went to rehab for undisclosed issues recently, citing the official bullshit reason of “exhaustion.”
Who the f is this? Demi Lovato
What was she on? Sonny With a Chance
Who did she bang? Joe Jonas and Wilmer Valderrama (barf)
What song would I know? Neon Lights, Heart Attack
What’s her scandal? She has done a lot of drugs and was a cutter. The highlight is when she beat up a Jonas Brothers backup dancer. When she went to rehab, her Disney show got cancelled, was reformatted and went on without her (ouch). She is a judge on one of those terrible singing shows now. Bonus scandal – she wore this hat a lot:
Who the F is this? Vanessa Hudgens
What was she on? All the High School Musical Movies
Who did she bang? Zac Efron (get it, girl)
What song would I know? None. She mostly does movies. Terrible, terrible movies.
What’s her scandal? Nude cell phone pictures of her got leaked. Big whoop, she got to bang Zac Efron.